


Mr & Mr Deadpool  - til for as long as it takes to not be suspicious do us part.

by Bettyboop13



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel, Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: 30 Day OTP Challenge, College, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Marry me so I can get this discount, One Shot, One Shot Collection, Pet Names, Pretend marriage, Tuition Fees, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-19
Updated: 2020-03-19
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:53:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23212066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bettyboop13/pseuds/Bettyboop13
Summary: Spideypool -One time my old roommate made an account on some kind of website focused on finding job offers, and a random woman sent her a message that was like, “hello, i see you are a young woman who lives in maryland, i am looking for someone to legally marry my son for two years so that he can get cheaper tuition to a college in your state, would you be interested? i would pay you for doing this and you could get divorced afterwards”. it was SUPER WEIRD and she was of course like “no?? i won’t do this, what the fuck” BUT ANYWAYS IMO this should be everyone’s next strange fanfiction plot: “we got married for the college tuition...”
Relationships: Peter Parker/Wade Wilson
Comments: 15
Kudos: 232





	Mr & Mr Deadpool  - til for as long as it takes to not be suspicious do us part.

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt stolen (?) from: https://perfectlyrose.tumblr.com/post/101118660910/au-prompts-masterlist-of-lists 
> 
> I wanna work on my writing skills so I can finish other fics I've started, so I'm challenging myself to write Spideypool. :) Don't forget to go check out day the previous days work by clocking on the series title!

“Uh, _darling_? It’s this way, sweetums.” 

“No one else can hear you.”

“Gotta keep this pretence up, my beloved. If you let it slip behind closed doors it makes it harder to keep up in public.”

“Oh, and you’ve been fake married before have you?”

“Now, don’t get angry at me honey-bunch. You practically begged me to marry you. Now how about a kiss for dear old hubby, huh?”

“I will web you.”

Wade chuckled to himself, thoroughly enjoying teasing the younger male. Peter really didn’t appreciate it though; he was already nervous enough and lost and Wade’s overzealous flirty nature _wasn’t helping him think_.

He was beginning to have second thoughts about this whole plan. Was Wade the right person to ask? He could have asked literally anybody else. MJ. Ned. One of May’s friend’s kids. Not to mention he didn’t need to be trying to lie this way either. But Wade as the only person who sprung to mind who could actually act convincing in the role as his husband.

Let’s jump back a bit; Peter Parker was trying to get into a new university, the one he liked to best out of _all_ the universities he could have chosen from. The only issue was the tuition fee. It was _hefty_. He could have asked Mr Stark for a loan on the money, but that felt so _wrong_. He’d already done so much for him. He wanted to try and pay for as much as he could by himself. He’d saved up quite a bit already – haven taken a gap year (or two) just working and doing the Spidey thing to do so. And also interning with Mr Stark.

Peter had been starting to think he might as well just up and ask Mr Stark to pay for it, when he saw a footnote on the college website on tuition fees: _International, married, and other special consideration students may be subject to reductions._ Peter couldn’t claim to be anything but American, that would have been messy. And a lie. But married? Married he could pretend to be. It would still be a lie though. Unless… How long does one have to married for before the fee reduction goes into effect? And how long afterwards? Surely, he could marry someone, even if it’s a Vegas wedding, and just – stay married long enough for it to not look fishy? They didn’t even need to act married, just happy enough for the school to buy it.

He was still mulling over it at Spiderman duty that night. He had loads of friends to ask, he knew a lot of them might agree to it just to help him out. But who would make a convincing partner…someone who was good at improvising; wouldn’t mind physical contact, or the lie itself; someone who wouldn’t feel burdened by the whole ordeal. Or… even care enough to bother helping him out.

“Oh Spiiiideeeyyyyy,” A sing song voice rang out, right before Peter was tackled to the ground in a massive bear hug.

“Wade.” Peter croaked, crushed under his friend. He sometimes hated that his spider senses never picked up on Deadpool, or the fact he was about to assault him. Harmless or not, Wade packed a punch.

“What’s wrong with you, sweet cheeks? I watched you sit there all gloomy and thoughtful. It’s not like you.” Deadpool got up off the hero and sat back, panda eyes smiling.

“I just got stuff on my mind, Pool.” Peter sat up as well. “Nothing worrying.”

“Ya sure? Happy to listen if you want, webs.” Deadpool said chipperly. Peter frowned a little at him. Wade. Wade would be… perfect. Peter had known Deadpool since he was back in high school, starting the whole Spiderman thing. He would be up for a bit of fun, and totally up for a fake marriage. This would all seem like a fun adventure to him! And… Peter was sort of excited by the idea to get married to Wade. Fake married!

“Say, maybe you could help me bud,” Peter pointed at him, Wade keened at the friendly terminology.

“Anything, Petey Pie.”

That led them up to now, wandering around the campus looking for the right building. Wade had been _very_ excited to get married; even driving them down to Vegas so it could be kept under wraps. Peter had explained the rules: only act married for the school, nothing else was needed and it could last as long as Wade was comfortable with (Once Peter found out what an appropriate amount of time would be for it not to be suspicious). But Wade pretty much ignored the rules; he bought Peter flowers, called him pet names whenever they were together, invited him over for dinner, never took his ring off. He even liked to announce to bad guys that he was a married man before chopping their heads off.

The face reveals had been a little – well, messy. Wade was ecstatic until it was his turn. He then went sheepish and sad. He confessed he might not actually be a good fake husband given his disfigurement. Peter waved the issue away, “You were caught in a fire saving civilian while serving in Afghanistan. No one will ask questions.”

“Are you sure it’s this way?” Peter tried to look at the campus map on his phone with one hand while Wade held the other. Peter hadn’t noticed when the merc had actually taken it.

“Yeah, trust me babe. I got a great sense of direction.”

They eventually did find the main building, without Wade’s great sense of direction, and waited for a few minutes before they were seen in to have the interview. The receptionist had thought it was odd Peter had brought his husband along, but Peter told her they were sightseeing for the day and that he was honestly a bit nervous. She smiled at that. They ended up in an interview with _the_ headmaster, Peter’s anxiety jumped.

“Nice to meet you, Peter Wilson I presume?” He asked, shaking Peter’s hand. Peter better get used to that name.

“I-it’s Parker-Wilson actually.” Peter smiled. “This is Wade, my husband. Is he… allowed in with me?”

“My cookie is a bit nervous,” Wade whispered and winked.

“Sure, I don’t see why not.” The headmaster eyed Wade up and down, Wade had dressed in the most normal clothes he owned, and Peter had sourced an old cap for him to wear. “Nervous are you Peter? You don’t need to be son, it’s nothing too formal.”

“Yes sir. Lovely office.”

“Why thank you! Come, sit down both of you.” The headmaster went and sat behind his big, intimidating desk. Wade and Peter sat in the two leather seats in front of the desk, Wade moving his seat to be closer to Peter, before scooping up his hand again.

“So, you look around the campus boys?” The headmaster said.

“Yes, it’s gorgeous! I love all the nature you’ve kept around the place.” Peter nodded.

“The facilities are impeccable, sir. Really top-notch stuff you have here.” Wade added, Peter had to take a deep breath not to crack a smile at Wade’s words. He was trying to behave so well.

“It’s what we’re known for.” The headmaster smiled. “How long have the two of you, eh, been married?”

“It’s new, just a few months.” Peter acted a bit embarrassed. “We’ve known each other for close to four years now.”

“Well! Congratulations. So, what do you do Wade?”

“You’re wondering about the scars?” Wade raised a brow but smiled, Peter froze. “I’m a retired vet, sir. Had a little accident back in Afghanistan. Don’t worry though, they do nothing but make me unpleasant to look at. I’m lucky I’m still loved.” Wade looked over at Peter dreamily.

Peter actually blushed. “I-I think their charming. Make you look unique.”

“That they do.” Headmaster caught himself staring at the merc and shook his head. “Now, Peter. About your place here with us…”

Peter let out a massive breath he didn’t know he’d been holding once they were outside again. The interview had gone very well, and convincingly! Wade didn’t say much else, but Peter didn’t get any sense that the headmaster though it was ruse. And he should hear back by the end of the week!

“OH Wade. I didn’t think it would ever end. Did I mess up? I don’t think I did.”

“Are you kidding me? I’m proud of you baby! You did such a good job!” Wade assaulted Peter with yet another bear hug, this time resulting with Peter cornered him against the wall of the building. Wade all but had one leg in between Peter’s, he was so close. His face looked serious, but his voice had been the same old chipper Deadpool tone. They’d never been so close without masks before, except for a kiss at the wedding. Wade seemed intoxicating.

“Aha, Wade…. S-stop.” Peter looked away, cheeks flushing.

“Why, honey?”

Peter swallowed, feeling like his mouth was a dessert. “…too close.”

“Aw, do I make you nervous my love?” Wade smirked; Peter shot him a glare but didn’t say anything. Wade chuckled and leant back a bit. “So, these rules of yours.” He laces fingers with Peter. “They say anything about not consummating this marriage?”

“Uh, well…no”

“I gotta say webs, this whole husband thing is a total turn on.”

“Graduation Friday! Can you believe it!”

Peter smiled back at the student as he whooped and ran away. God, graduation already?

 _Wow. Years pass quicker than you think they do_ , Peter thought to himself. _Oh God._ Peter froze as he was heading down the stairs. _I’m still fucking married to Wade._ He dug his phone out of his pocket and sped his walking up until he was outside.

“We’re still married!”

“Huh?”

“Do you realise we’re still married?”

“Uh, yeah, I guess. You just noticed, sweet cheeks?” Wade chuckled.

“This was only supposed to be a temporary, fake thing!”

“I know.”

“I’m so sorry Wade, it’s gone on for too long.” Peter paused; it was starting to rain.

“…Hang up.”

“What??”

“Hang up, I’m here.”

“You’re…” Peter did hang up, looking around. Life had been so progressively _normal_ now. They had moved in together, more out of convenience than anything else. Sex happened often. Those strangely intimate things married couples do well… that just sort of happened too. They were together most nights in their super suits, or out of them. Did Wade feel obligated to stay because Peter just had – plain _forgotten??_ Was he secretly unhappy? He should have said something! Did he try to and Peter had just missed it?? Was he unhappy??

“I don’t want a divorced.” A voice suddenly said behind him, Peter turned, relieved to see Wade but not liking the intensely worried look in his eyes.

“Oh. Okay.” Peter nodded

“Do you?”

“…No. But – are you sure? This was a favour; it was fake just for a while I didn’t mean to con you into something you didn’t wanna do I just -”

“Petey Pie,” Wade scolded him, taking him into his arms. “This stopped being fake a long time ago for me. I’ve grown to love you; you know. Don’t you love me too? Don’t you like living with me? Talking to me before we go to sleep? Taking this D like the good little angel you are?”

Peter felt his eyes get moist to he blinked a couple times. “Y-Yeah. Of course.”

“Then… it’s not fake, baby boy. Now _come on_ we’re getting _wet_ and you _promised_ to help me pick out a new katana.”

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, i'll say it, this was cute af  
> I'm so sorry I'm not good at keeping this daily, I went to my friend's house again and I like stopping our shit to write for an hour or two. FORGIVE ME ;n;  
> I'm going to be doing self isolation soon, a couple weeks doing everything from home. I'd recommend doing the same if you or family members are at greater risk for Corona (Like me). Remember to wash hands, keep your distance from one another and don't go out if you don't need to! Stay safe lovelies xx
> 
> You know the drill ;)


End file.
